Please just try to understand

There are a lot of times when, things are really fun. We might be partying, or just hanging out and I think "Hey, is there a sharpie around here?" Of course I mean to draw moustaches on people. Why do I do this? When did it all start? Well, I will tell you.

This picture above is the very first moustache I ever had drawn on me. We were tattooing at the Smokeout west, and being the apprentice, I worked my ass off. When the day was done, Long Jon said we could all go get a beer. One of the other artists asked me if he could draw a moustache on me. He said "I'll give you five bucks!" Well, I didn't have much money at the time so I said Hell, I'm already wearing a man's vest, what's a moustache gonna do? Plus, I could get a beer with five bucks. So I let him do it and boy am I sorry. It has never stopped happening to me. Or others.

 On this particular occasion not long after the Smokeout, I drew a sharpie moustache on six people in Hardtailz bar while we were celebrating our ten year anniversary party for the tattoo studio. This handsome fellow is Shane, or Cotton Pony, and he understood how much he needed this stache.

Here I am in Las Vegas for the first time ever! We were at the Double Down drinking bacon martinis and shots of something called ass juice. Of course they had a sharpie so we let the pros do us up. Not only did I get a moustache but some rad fake tattoos as well, including one on my back which pointed out my bony spine. It read "stege" Someone could not spell Steggie. Thirty minuted earlier we threw martinis off of the top of the Rio hotel because they served them to us in plastic glasses.

This is Long Jon giving me a not so sharpie moustache in Mexico. They only had this blue marker. We managed to put one on all of the girls we were with, as well as  haggard old biker wench who was quite taken with Jon. She climbed over three tables to get to him just so she could try to kiss him while he was drawing on her. He managed to stay clear and hers turned out pretty good. This was our honeymoon by the way.

  On this past New Year's Eve, We had a seventies party. I thought I needed some sideburns for the occasion. Of course my lovely dear friend Christy or Hoo Ha as I lovingly call her, was a willing victim. She rocks the uni brow, and I usually only put those on the prettiest girls because they are hard to pull off. And wash off.

 Ahh...Choppertown Camparound. Here Charlie the Nomad and I have drawn moustaches on each other. It started a domino effect. Only the people who had real moustaches avoided our advances, and we got everyone done up.

 Jimmy even let me do a clown face. I added the white with a powdered donut. If you aren't careful, I even bust out the glitter sometimes...

I like to save the clown face for times when we are really having fun. We actually washed our moustaches off, and then re did our faces like clowns. It was a special kind of night. I think the clown face reminds me of my mom, and how she made me dress as a clown to help her when she was working. You see, my mom was a professional clown when I was growing up, so that explains a lot. Like how I can do such good triangles under the eyes and get the cheeks round.

   So you see, I wasn't born this way, I never wanted a moustache. I don't want a beard either, but sometimes it just happens....to everyone around me. You can't fight it and I swear, it washes off. The next day. Usually.