You may have been at Choppertown Camparound, but I guarantee you missed this and you fucked up!

This  year Choppertown Camparound kicked ass. If you were there, you know. Just a bunch of dirtbags gettin drunk and sleepin in the dirt. If you came, you probably had fun, and blew up your motorcycle. We partied pretty hard on Friday night, so when Saturday came around, many of us were hung over. When you sleep outside, you tend to wake up with the sun, so 7:30 am found most of us groaning and vomiting and looking for some coffee.  The venue is a family owned steakhouse and bar. The owner Scott and his wife were very kind to us and even participated in the festivities a little. When Scott came driving up in his truck with a wagon contraption on the back on Saturday at around 8 am, none of us really took notice. Hung over as we were, when he started barking orders for us all to get on this wagon, we barely even questioned him. We obliged and sat on it until further notice. He pointed to myself and another young lady and said 'Girls! Get on the wagon! And you over there, come on everyone get on...NOW!"

The thing looks perfectly normal but upon getting in we realized that there is no FLOOR. ...OR SHADE.OF ANY KIND.

Soon the truck started pulling about ten or twelve of us out into the street. What were we thinking? Maybe he is taking us for a joyride to wake us up, or to get breakfast, or is he taking us to a grave? That's when we realized that this man thought it would be a good idea to take a wagonfull of misfits into Black Canyon city to represent his business on a "float" in the town parade. We had no way out. It was too late. When we came to a stop in the staging area, we were given bags of candy and told "hitting kids is not encouraged, but if you nail one in the head you get 10 points"

We waited in the sun for what seemed like an hour all the while sizing up the other floats. There were motorcycles, trikes, people on horseback, and even a trailer with old people in a kiddie pool. I have no idea what the parade was for or if it was a holiday or what.  The police even busted out Deputy do right who is a giant head on a regular cop costume. He looked like Jack in the Box.

As we pulled out and started to move, Mr Don Wood was hanging off the back of the wagon wearing his kilt. A small boy who was marching behind us holding a banner got too close for Don's liking. He told the boy " Son, if you don't back up, that view is gonna change yer life." He backed up. Way up.

We passed this dashing gentleman on our way and I decided he was the hottest thing in town.

                                 When we finally got into the thick of it, there were kids everywhere waiting to receive their candy. Half of them weren't paying attention so it was easy for us to hit them square in the face. Lots of bored paresnts were easy targets too. Some ladies even opened up their blouses to get their candy after some coaxing from the filthy scumbags on board. Scott very thoughtfully provided us with beer, but no one could stand the thought. We were still drunk from the night before.  

When we got to the center of town there was an announcer, and a cameraman. Adam, a choppertown resident, dutifully placed a water bottle at his crotch and thrusted vigorously towars the camera, all the while spewing water on the crowd of women , children, and some good ole boys in lawn chairs. People loved us, and I'm sure Kid Chileen's Bad Ass BBQ Steakhouse couldn't be prouder of us for representing them.
   When we returned to the restaurant, we were all in a daze. What just happened? Were we in a parade? Why was there a parade? Is it ok that we were behind the Jesus people and we taunted them? Who is in charge here? We were USED! We were TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!
             It kicked so much ass. Hitting kids in the head with candy and watching it bounce off and then they chase it, is like the top thing you can do. You so fucking missed out on that shit......unless you were there.